We love hearing about people's experiences of our service. Below is an individual's experience of Guided Self-Help in Talking Therapies at Psicon.
This is my personal account on my road to recovery. I am only able to write this now, as I have come to terms with what I am dealing with and built on my techniques to support me in my road of recovery.
Depression…it's a word used increasingly over the last few years. I have come across it on many occasions with my family and friends. I have always given the best I could to them and been there for them every step of the way. However it's true to say, you never fully understand it until you experience it yourself.
I was working 40+ hours a week, juggling home and work life and going through a rollercoaster with health issues. I have always been one to live every hour and to have no regrets and to always think on the positive side. I was hit with possibly the worst news I could think of at only 20 years old. This I believe was the tip of the iceberg. This was not the cause of my depression, as I don't believe there are specific aspects of life that cause depression. My belief is working myself to the max, exhausting myself and not taking into consideration how I really felt with everything going on around me.
I made an appointment to see my doctor to discuss further my health issues, however this resulted in the complete breakdown of myself. The doctor advised me to seek guidance from Psicon. I was very hesitant at first, I had never needed support and now here I was unable to do anything I loved to do. I lost my love for the gym, for baking, for music and for reading. I had stopped doing everything I loved and enjoyed. I stopped going out, I was exhausted 24/7 and all I wanted to do was sleep.
I remember being on my own one weekend, my family were away and my partner was out with his friends, it hit me, I was depressed and I needed help. I didn't know where to go from that day, I realised I was stuck in a hole and I didn't know how to get out of this. I grabbed my iPad and googled Psicon. I had a look at what they do and read some stories from other people. I built up the courage to email across, in my email it included ‘help me’. I got a response early Monday morning with the steps to take next. I followed these steps and soon enough it was time to have my first session. I met my therapist, I had spoken to her over the phone, however I was still very hesitant. My therapist arranged to meet me at my doctors surgery as it was somewhere familiar for me. During My first session with my therapist I surprisingly opened up a huge amount. I was so shocked how comfortable I felt with a complete stranger. My therapist listened closely to everything I had to say and listened as I sobbed my way through the past events. My therapist explained the process we would take together. My therapist gave me small tasks to complete each week and each week I would evaluate how I was feeling. I remember having a very bad week, I walked into the session and burst into tears. I had reached rock bottom, it was the worst feeling I had ever experienced. I felt numb, I didn't want to see anyone be near anyone. During this session I was set a difficult task, I openly admitted to My therapist I would struggle with this, she reassured me I could do it. My therapist had also given me a few more techniques and strategies to try. As I went away that day I asked myself if I would ever be how I used to be, my happy smiley self. A week later I had another session. I took my completed task with me and evaluated how I felt, the numbers had begun to drop. I was on the stepping stones back to me. The following week I had my last and final session. On my way to Psicon I had music playing in my car, something I was unable to do at the beginning of my sessions just 5 weeks ago. As before I evaluated how I felt, some were non applicable anymore. As I handed my evaluation over to My therapist I had the biggest smile on my face, I could tell how far I had come, I felt almost normal again. During my final session My therapist reassured me that I must keep moving forward and continue all the techniques we had put in place. My therapist provided me with a booklet and some information to prevent a relapse. As I left that day I couldn't thank My therapist enough, she turned to me and said all of this was you.
I am so thankful for my doctor pointing me towards Psicon and for myself to admit I needed help.
Thanks to the work of My therapist at Psicon I have begun to do and take part in the things I love again. I do still have my down moments, but these are now dealt with through the techniques I have learnt.
I honestly can not thank Psicon enough.
I still have a long journey ahead of me but I know that I am able to pull myself up before I reach rock bottom.